Is it possible to learn?

Do you ever think of something you “should” learn but you never really get around to doing it? Isn’t it easy to think things are impossible when it’s really just uncomfortable?

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard in the last few months that someone would like to know more about social networking because they just don’t understand it. Is that you? It’s me! Well, I have tried to stick my toes into the water little by little with the help of my daughter and a few friends, but I’m not convinced I do it very well. So, I have attended a couple webinars recently and I signed up for a comprehensive, hands-on social networking course offered by the Broken Arrow Chamber of Commerce. Hopefully, I might find I’m doing some things right as well as learning what else I should do.

It is so hard to keep up with the latest as the world is changing so fast. Therefore, it’s important to use the tools we have efficiently. I don’t have time to do everything, so I have to figure out what will give me the most results for the least effort.

Whatever it is you need to learn, get started right away. You don’t want to be one of those “old people” who don’t understand what this world is coming to. Be part of the change now and it will be easier down the road.

 

How much is enough?

With the reconstruction of our economy, I think an important question to ask is, “How much do we want or need?” This is in contrast to the question of “how extravagantly do we want to live?”

We have been through an era of bigger is better, but is that always the case? Some people have started small businesses after being laid off and are finding themselves happier. Many people have also downsized their homes, lifestyle, and cars in response to loss of income or retirement savings. While this has been painful, I have heard several people recently talking about making the changes permanent. Some business people have decided to keep their businesses smaller and easier to manage. Families are eating in more and finding ways to entertain at home. I heard a news story this morning about a lady who had started shopping at Walmart out of necessity, but has found that she likes shopping there because of the bargains. She said she didn’t think she would go back to the big brand stores.

It seems we might see more of a moderate approach to lifestyle yet I don’t think people are going to give up their upscale desires. I just think they will act on them less often. What are you seeing?

 

Time Travel

On recommendation from a friend, I have started to read “The Outlander” by Diana Gabaldon, which is a story about a nurse after WWII in Scotland who gets caught in a time warp and goes back in time. This is the first of a series of books about this character.

I have always found the thought of time travel very interesting. Wouldn’t it be great to have “do overs” or to really experience another time and place? I am definitely a modern woman and like this woman who finds herself in the eighteenth century suddenly, I would probably expect more equality than she is finding.

It makes me think about how far we have come in human rights and yet how far we have to go. As a baby boomer, I remember when I was in college and my chemistry lab teacher told me he didn’t know why I wasn’t getting married and having children instead of going to college. That scenario must seem far fetched to many young people today.

On the other hand, there are stories of discrimination and abuse every day in the news, so we definitely haven’t overcome these issues yet. It would be interesting to see how far in the future I would have to go to find a world of peace and harmony where people are valued individually and collectively. Maybe that is just another idealistic thought leftover from the 70’s. I hope not.

 

Support is everything

Last week I attended an all-school high school reunion in my home town. It was a great idea not only to see old friends in my class, but in other classes as well. My family took the opportunity to make it a family reunion so four of our five siblings attended and enjoyed each other while sharing time with each of our friends. There was a small parade of homecoming kings and queens of years ago and teachers to remember. Our old high school has been converted into a senior living center with classrooms made into apartments. What a wonderful way to allow people to appreciate its historic charm while keeping it useful today. It was wonderful to tour the facility and see the residents continuing to enjoy it.

The weekend reminded me that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I discussed with a few friends how easy it is to transport yourself back to that high school geek, football hero, class clown, insecure teen personality. We are who we expect ourselves to be and yet the others just want to see us and be there in the moment. As we all had changed, we were still the midwestern small town people with good solid values who had lived our lives by raising our children and working at whatever needed to be done.

In changing times as these, I think support is everything. When life seems tough, you especially need support–people who will be there for you no matter what to help you, cajole you, love you, and kick you in the pants if needed. No matter what age or income bracket you are in, it seems the measure of your comfort is the depth of your support. However, they say you have to give in order to get, so who are you supporting with friendship, mentoring, and encouragement? By focusing on supporting others, we end up with a greater support for ourselves.

 

It’s what you do with it

I have been doing training for the last sixteen years and I have encountered all kinds of participants. Trainers are always charged with making the training practical and helping the organization get a return on investment. However, I have seen sessions that worked for some people and didn’t work at all for others. I have seen people walk away from a session that I thought was weak, but they got a lot out of it.

I truly believe that in the business of learning, it’s what you do with it that counts. It doesn’t matter whether you have fancy handouts, multimedia slide shows, games or quizzes. What matters is whether the participants engage with the learning and decide to put it to use.

I have seen very bright people who glossed over the material and barely did any of the assignments at work. I have also seen people who seemed average at first, but really decided to put some effort into their practice and started to blossom over time.

Leadership, like any other skill can be taught and learned. Over my years of working with leaders I have seen many people grow in their leadership ability and I have seen others who think they are already there and have better things to do with their time. It’s been my experience that those who have put effort into consciously and continuously improving their leadership skills have reaped the benefits of having employees who respect them more and are eager to work for them to produce whatever it is they do.

I believe the old adage that it’s not what you’ve got that’s important, it’s what you do with it.

 

Because I knew you

I just returned home from seeing Wicked and I am haunted by the last song between Glinda (the Good Witch) and Elphaba (the Wicked Witch of the West). These two unlikely friends since school years sing, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” It is a simple, but profound thought. Who do you know that has made you a better person? And more importantly, who can say that of you?

As leaders, we have a distinct privilege of being a person who mentors and teaches. We can be someone who builds or someone who tears down confidence, competence, and self-esteem. As parents, friends, and spouses, we also have the same opportunity.

We owe our lives and who we are to those around us who took us under their wing, who taught us when we needed to learn, who let us fail yet caught us before we fell too far, and gave us their love and admiration so we could become someone to do it for others.

I stand here today because of my family, my teachers, my husband, my children, my former bosses, my direct reports, my clients, and my friends. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

 

Adding Value

I was reading John Maxwell’s The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership to prepare for a coaching session with a client last week and I got reinvigorated by his Law of Addition.  He said we add value to others when we 1) truly value others, 2) make ourselves more valuable to others, 3) know and relate to what others value, and 4) do things that God values.

Maxwell is a proponent of servant leadership. People follow you when they believe in you. Why should someone believe in you? One reason is that you believe in them. You have to give it to get it. People need to feel they are valued by you and if you don’t do this first step, you won’t get a chance to do the other three.

I think we have an opportunity today to help people help themselves by showing them we value their ability.  As another client told me last week, we usually have everything we need to do what is right, but we need someone to believe in us and ask us the right questions so we have confidence in ourselves. Helping someone be the best they can be should be our highest priority as leaders as well as individuals. Whether it be our children, our spouses, our friends, our coworkers, or our bosses. By adding value to others, we make ourselves more valuable as well. Leaders with exceptional followers are always in demand.

 

The worth of values

I was just reading Engagement is Not Enough by Keith Ayers and he was making a point that when organizations put their values above everything else, that profits tend to follow. However, when organizations put profit above everything else, values do not necessarily follow.

I have long held the belief that the more a person’s personal values are aligned with the organization for which they work, the higher their job satisfaction and the more engaged they are in the work. When a person’s values are compromised for the gain of money, we get what we now have in our economy. There were a ton of people who found ways around the system to make more money and massaged the system to make more money and stood on the backs of others to make more money. Ultimately when the sand started to shift at the bottom, the top also fell, taking the rest of us with it.

Last weekend my husband and I went to a local barn that an individual had built so that local amateur musicians could come every Saturday night and play music for people to listen, dance, and share fellowship in a clean atmosphere. It was an intergenerational group with grandfathers and granddaughters dancing, teenagers, oldsters, and everyone having a good time. This has been going on for 20 years or more, but it was the last night because some personal items had been stolen and the owner was shutting it down.

I hope that as we rebuild our organizations to the finest America can offer that we rebuild them according to the values that made our country great–hard work, honesty, integrity, and a concern for our fellow man. After all, we are all in this together.

 

Inspiration

I read a story that had no mention of where it came from, but I found it inspirational. It is probably one of those legend stories.

A young high school student was running around the track while several coaches were meeting on the sidelines. As he passed, he shouted that he would be the greatest hurdler of the whole school. The coaches didn’t pay much attention to him, but as they broke up the meeting, one of the coaches went over to him and asked why he thought he would be the greatest hurdler of the school. The boy said he had a secret. The coach asked him what the secret was and the boy leaned close and whispered, “Don’t think about the hurdle, go for the tape.”

You know, I wonder how many times we would be more successful if we didn’t let the obstacles control our actions, but instead keep our eyes on the goal. How many times have we given up because we didn’t see the obstacle as a stepping stone to the prize? Rarely are our dreams handed to us without some work on our part. You never know which obstacle will be the last one before the goal.

I remember when I worked at Purolator Products and our NASCAR driver, Derek Cope, won the Daytona 500 after Dale Earnhardt had a flat tire in the last lap. Some people minimized the win by saying that he wouldn’t have won if Dale hadn’t gotten the flat tire. However, I like to point out that he had to be in second place to be in a position to take over first.

I hope you will find inspiration to keep running this year.

 

It’s a Wonderful Life

Last week I had my left kidney removed as treatment for the malignant tumor that was discovered this summer by accident. I was open with friends, family, and colleagues just in case there should be any problems and because I believe that sharing pain diminishes it, while sharing excitement heightens it. However, I wasn’t prepared for the outpouring of people including me in their prayer groups and giving me support.

Fortunately, the surgery was successful and the surgeon was able to remove the kidney and tumor intact and other than follow-up screenings for a couple years, he considers me cured. I really had little trepidation going in because I knew I was in good hands and I knew I had a lot of love and support behind me. I came through the surgery pretty well and have progressed well, but I continue to get choked up when I think of what has happened to me in the last week.

Before the surgery many people called, emailed, or wished me well in person. By the day after my surgery I had a veritable garden of the most beautiful plants, flowers, and gifts from friends, family, colleagues, and clients. My husband kept people updated with emails on my progress. Quite a few people came to visit over the next several days and I just felt buoyed up with the support I received. Now that I’m home, people are scheduled to bring meals through next week.

As an independent consultant, it is easy to lose track of the people you know or to feel like you are alone when you work from a home office. I try to counteract that by being involved in different ways on the different fronts of my professional, social, and personal life. I take great pride in being a resource to others to make a difference in their lives, but I rarely think about how they will all help me, especially personally.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and sharing how overwhelming this is to me and he said it was like the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I agreed. I feel a little like Jimmy Stewart to know that I have touched that many people who care about me. In my younger years I never would have dreamed this could happen as I was never popular. I guess over time I just came to realize that when you focus on others it does come back to you eventually. This week was my payback.

This Thanksgiving I have much to be thankful for. I’m cancer-free and I have a huge circle of family, friends, colleagues, and clients who are worth living for. It’s a wonderful life!