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Emotional Intelligence

Since I’ve been reading Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman I have been reflecting on people I have worked with and their levels of emotional intelligence.

Goleman reports that his research shows that the more complex your job is, the more you need to have emotional intelligence competencies. He makes the point that having emotional intelligence does not just mean “being nice” to others. It is being empathic, motivated, and aware of how your behavior is affecting others. It is also being able to effectively confront others about their poor behavior when necessary without destroying their self-esteem.

I have seen very competent executives who have very little emotional intelligence and it usually comes back to bite them. Goleman says that emotional intelligence can be learned and I agree, but you have to want to learn it–just like any other competency or skill. I have worked with people who think emotional intelligence is just a bunch of mushy stuff for the weak and I have worked with people who have a healthy dose of emotional intelligence already. The big difference I see is in how the people who report to them relate to them.

The people with emotional intelligence usually earn the respect of others because they are willing to listen and learn. They are less about ego and more about serving and raising the power of others as well as themselves so the organization can succeed. They have a personal touch that encourages others to get onboard.

People without emotional intelligence find working with others more difficult. They blame others for not getting things done, but aren’t able to get people to open up and discuss the obstacles freely. Subordinates are not sure where they stand and loyalty is lacking.

I’m going to write more about this topic, but that’s enough to get started. Let me know your thoughts on emotional intelligence.

 

Are you listening?

Listening is so hard to do these days! It seems we are all in such a hurry to communicate. Even I find myself interrupting people when I know I shouldn’t. In this respect, email and texting does give you the chance to get your whole thought out before someone jumps in.

I find it particularly difficult on the telephone to know when it is ok to talk. On the telephone you don’t have body language to tell you if the person is just taking a breath or if they are done with their thought.  Like many people, if I am in a hurry or am excited about something, I start talking if there is even a slight breath on the other side. Or worse, if I want to stop the other person from telling me a long story because I already know or have a solution or whatever. I find myself doing this more personally than professionally, because I try harder to be patient with clients and colleagues. So, what’s up with that?

Shouldn’t I give the same courtesy to family and friends? Duh! I think the difference in personal conversations is that give and take casual relationship and we don’t think about how well we’re listening vs. getting our point across. Either way, interrupting says my agenda and thoughts are more important than yours and that clearly says I’m not listening to your thoughts to understand. I am taking the challenge to be a better listener and a non-interrupter everywhere. What about you?

 

Supporting continuous improvement

I have spent the last three days in certification training for a program called Measurable Management designed by Robin Byrne, who started it in the UK and has brought it to the US.  Measurable Management is a program for leaders to develop and support a culture of continuous improvement for carrying out their strategic initiatives. I think organizations today must have even more awareness of the importance of continuous improvement. In a tightly competitive environment, we must all do more with less as efficiently as possible.

What makes me excited about Measurable Management is that it blends the relationship side of leading with the operations side of finding improvement opportunities in every nook and cranny of the organization. The program fosters empowerment and engagement at all levels when the management is legitimately held responsible for finding and supporting ways to do business more effectively.

Too often in times like this it becomes all about cutting costs, but it should really be more about being efficient with what you have. That usually leads to cost reduction and longer term profitability. True innovation comes from taking ideas of what could be and turning them into realities.

I am looking forward to delivering this program to clients and working with them to improve their ability to deliver value added services to their customers. You can find out more about this unique program by going to www.measurablemanagement.com or by contacting me.

 

Happy May Day

It’s May Day, or May 1st. I remember this was a much bigger thing when I was growing up. We would pick flowers or make a little sack of candy and leave it on the doorstep of a friend, ring the doorbell and run. Of course, they would be lurking by the front door to run out and catch you so you had to run fast. Those were simple days of fun and few worries because kids just didn’t get involved in all the grown-up stuff like today.

Actually, I think today it is the grown-ups who are trying to keep up with the kids. They are leading the technology revolution while we are struggling to figure out what to do. I just signed up for Twitter today. Not sure what I will do with it, but I definitely won’t be making entries every 2 minutes. However, I am interested to see what pops up as people follow me and we are able to share ideas. When I started my business sixteen years ago, I wasn’t sure what it would ultimately look like but I knew for sure that I wanted to be a resource to others. Therefore, I named my business Anderson Resources. I pride myself on being able to provide useful resources to others as well as point people to resources they need other than me. I like to share ideas and discuss new fields of thought.

So, let’s twitter away(@andersoncat) or just follow my blog, but let’s stay in touch.

 

Spring–the time of change

Spring is trying to arrive. It comes with variable weather and you’re never sure what clothes to wear. Somehow it seems to be reflecting the world we live in now. The economy seems like it’s getting a little better then takes a big step backward. We start to hear good news but then get a dose of bad.

This also reminds me of how hard it is to change things in any organization. You may think you are on a right path to make positive changes, and then something happens to pull you back. Change is hard no matter the subject. It is never easy to get people to change because there is a basic fear of change. We don’t know what the change will bring. We know what the status quo is like and no matter whether we like it or not, we at least know what it is. We have learned to deal with it.

When we think a change will be a good thing we jump on the bandwagon and try to make a go of it, but then an obstacle arises and it is easy to go back to what we know–even if it’s not where we want to go. It seems there is always the pull of the past.

When involved with change I think you just have to plan for some setbacks and address them as they arise. If you are able to stay committed while making course corrections, you will ultimately reach your destination–the next change.

 

Right Person, Right Role

A concern I have in today’s economy is that we may put a lot of round pegs into square holes simply to get by or for longer. We all know that finding the right job fit is important to long-term job satisfaction as well as successful performance for the organization. However, since so many people are out of work many will be forced to take anything they can get just to survive. While this will work in the short term, it is sometimes difficult for people to know when to move on as the job market picks up again. It may encourage people to become employed or stay in jobs that are simply not suited for them. Even more difficult are the situations where people’s jobs have been eliminated and probably won’t ever come back. These people may need new training for new careers. I hope that there will be sufficient counseling to help people find the right path and I encourage employers to get involved, if they aren’t already, so they can help groom the right people they will need for their futures.

 

Springing back

I don’t know about you, but I am really tired of hearing so much bad news about the economy. NBC Nightly News was doing a series of good stories where people are helping people and the good things that are happening because of their actions. It was called “Making a Difference.”

I wish we could hear more about people making a difference and less about what a bad state we are in. We can talk ourselves into a hole deeper and deeper or we can get going and do whatever we can to help ourselves and others get back on their feet. Ultimately, we are consuming some things so we have to have some production to feed, clothe and take care of us. As we cut back to make ends meet, we are rightfully being more careful about what we spend.

However, I do think you can’t hold a good person or a good country down. I live in the southwest and the good folks here have always been resilient. I remember the 80’s when the oil bust happened and we lost a lot of oil jobs and people moved away because they couldn’t find jobs. Others took whatever work they could find to get by. I was personally laid off a couple times. I remember interviewing accountants for a job several years later and they had been doing any other work but accounting until accounting jobs were available again. I think if we partner up to help each other that one by one we can make a difference in our lives and ultimately the economy. I’m tired of hearing what we can’t do. I’m just going to do what I can every day to keep going.

 

Seeds of Opportunity

This morning on the Today Show Ann Curie was interviewing Bill Clinton. He had been speaking to a group of young adults about what they can do for the future and she asked him how he could be upbeat at a time when the economy is so bad. He said that anytime there is a crisis, you have to recognize there are seeds of opportunity.

I really agree with that! I have been in many situations when things looked tough, but if I looked for the opportunity instead of crying about the loss, I usually came out on the positive end eventually. The media spends so much time talking about how bad things are and are getting worse every day that we are talking ourselves into doom. Some experts say that things will get worse before they get better. However, I see some positive outcomes in that people are starting to take a realistic look at their finances and how they are living their lives. We can’t rob Peter to pay Paul forever. The bill comes due sometime. It is such a shame that so many people have strived for the American Dream and let it be about more, more, more.

I think the American Dream is about building what you want, living the life you earn, and surrounding yourself with friends and family. I don’t think there is a free ride to success. Now is the time to take a look around and find new opportunities. Just like in the book, Who Moved My Cheese, the big cheese is gone and it’s time to put our tennis shoes back on and start running again. There will be more cheese, but we have to be willing to look for it and work for it. The best companies and individuals will spend this time honing themselves so they will be prepared when the opportunity arises.

 

Manners are not old fashioned

I was preparing a presentation for a client on professionalism and as I was doing research and thinking about what it means to act like a professional, the subject of manners came up. I don’t think it’s old fashioned to use good basic manners such as opening or holding the door for someone else, offering to give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you, offering to help someone who is struggling to carry something, removing your hat indoors, saying please and thank you, keeping your voice down not to bother others, etc.

I see a lot of basic courtesy where I live, but I also see the lack of it. I hope basic courtesy is not out the window these days. Unfortunately, some people have not been taught basic courtesy, so they aren’t accustomed to it. It is too bad if we have let our standards go down so far as to think that kindness, thoughtfulness, and courtesy to others is unnecessary today.

My mother-in-law has told me countless times about how they didn’t take children everywhere like they do now. We learned that to go out was special so we had to use our special manners. Today families eat out regularly and go to all sorts of public places. I don’t think it is old fashioned to expect people to learn and use courtesy in these public places. It will not only prepare children for adult manners they will be expected to use in business, but it will also be a kinder, gentler world in which to live.